...and coming...

This morning I woke up with a new determination to set things right. It's probably not my place to set things right, but as I stated at the outset - I'm that girl. I need things to be a certain way. And the Certain Way in question requires Bec and Lars to be together. So I call Madi - getting her in person this time - and ask her to come over so we can formulate a plan of attack. After waiting the appropriate amount of time I decided to take the elevator to the lobby and pace there.

(Aside: apparently there was a power outage while I was in France and now the elevators have reverted to announcing the floor and direction again. Sigh.)

I open my door and push the button for the elevator. Doors open, and there's Madi...kissing Mackenzie.

Yes. You read that right. I clear my throat...mostly as a way to cover the strangled choking noise I'm making. There are mutterings and blushing all the way around and we rush back into my apartment. Blew past mom stretching in the living room and straight back to my bedroom, where the door was closed and locked.

"What. The...?" I trailed off - mostly on purpose for effect but also because I didn't want to convey the wrong idea. They both started to speak but I held up my hand. "Pause. Must process."

The following went through my head:

1) Liars. Both of them. Secret keepers. Liars.
2) How very trendy. Homosexual teenagers. It wouldn't be a teen movie/tv show without one.
3) But mostly it's the boys that are coming out.
4) Wonder if this has anything to do with Madi's father...
5) Madi had a steady boyfriend most of sophomore year. Beard?
6) How did they figure it out? How did they both know that they were into each other? Or is it like with a guy and a girl? You hang out, you laugh at each other's jokes and then one day you realize you're actually fixing your hair and putting on make up and then you decide to throw caution to the wind and the next thing you know you're smooching?
7) Do I want to know any of this?
8) Huh. Madi and Mack. Huh.
9) Madi and Mack. M &M...I should probably talk before I completely lose track.

And so I say: "Probably none of us were quite ready for you to be outed, yet. Unless everyone knows but me and then I'm going to be miffed."

Madi: "No one knows. You. Us."
Me: "Bec?"
Mackenzie: "On the heels of her breaking up with Lars? No way."
Me: "I'm going to ask you one question which you can chose not to answer on the grounds that it's selfish and bitchy." They nod, so: "Is this an experiment thing? Or is this a relationship? Because I want to know how it's going to effect me."
Mackenzie: "Too soon to tell."
Madi (At the same time): "We haven't even had a real date, yet...sheesh."
Me: "Valid. Just don't get all gooey and we'll be fine. Also - if you break up and it hurts the Society I will be...well...not happy. It would suck. Because I want the Society to be bigger than us. Hear that?"
Madi: "Then I insist on being called Hazmat whenever we're alone."
Mackenzie: "I second."
Me: "Bec isn't here, but I concur. Pass. Which I get to do, because I started it."

We're all smug and silent for a minute...during which I'm quite sure I saw an indecent look pass between the two of them. I Do Not want to know what it meant.

Time to move us along. I called Lars. I put him on speaker.
"Lars, it's Pam."
"Yo."
"I've been out of the country."
"I heard. How's the cheese?"
"Moldy. How's the big D?"
"Rainy."
"Word."
"This isn't why you called." Hazmat got us back on track. Wait - Lars is on speaker phone, should I refer to her as Madi?
"She's right. What happened with Bec?" I tried to put on my "don't change the subject" voice.
"It wasn't working." Did they agree that this would be their answer, even if questioned separately? They knew me too well.
"Why not?"
"Because Bec was keeping secrets from me. IS. She IS keeping secrets from me. And her behavior is erratic."
"Lars - she got shot, of course her behavior is erratic. You've all been off your games lately. Pam hides in her camera, Madi's behaving like Sorority pledge without the drinking, and Bec's cranky. It's understandable. It'll take time to get back on track." Smack - the only true outsider in the room. Can she still be called that since she was inflagrante with my BFF in the elevator?
"I understand that. I've been playing video games almost non-stop because it's easier than walking out of my apartment. But she's hiding something from me." Poor Lars. I could do something about this.
"Hey, we're going to put you on mute for a minute. Hold tight." I pushed the button and looked Hazmat full in the face. "We tell him. We invite him over and swear him to secrecy."
"Why do we need to tell him in person?"
"We don't. You're right." I pushed the button again. "You there, Lars?"
"Yup."
"Ok. I'm going to tell you Bec's secret. Which I can do because it's not just her secret and I'm not telling you all of it. "
"Uuhhh...."
"Right. I decided, around the time of The Heist, that the girls and I would start a secret society. We picked a mission statement and some other secret stuff and have made it very official. In the history of the Skull and Bones and the Funny Hat Society and all of those other Old Boys Clubs, we started an Old Girls Club called Society Tuesday. We're spending the summer laying the foundation and our Junior years getting it running and then over the summer we'll choose underclassmen to join us. The gem of it is that we're going to build a women-centric infrastructure of connections into the best colleges, the best jobs, etc etc. And since the best part of a secret society is that people know you exist but don't know what you do...you get to know. I think Bec was unclear on that. So now you know. No More Secrets. Hang up with us and call her. But tell her that she can't tell you any more than what I've told you."

Silence.

"Lars?"
"Yeah?"
"Call her."
"Yes. Yes! Right now." He hung up. Smiles all around the room.

"Ladies....we need to start planning our next prank. Let's braintstorm for a bit and then let Bec add some ideas. I think we need a stockpile so there isn't too much lag time between the Fun. Agreed?" I like this Being In Charge thing. Ordering people around is fun.
"Agreed."
"Agreed."

Now if Lars or Bec would just call me back...