Video (almost) Killed the Gangsters

We did it. We’re all in. So now in private we refer to each other as Lala, Hazmat, and Crayon. I’m actually agreeing with Bec, though. Crayon is reading lame. Creature is also a play on her name (her initials are C.R.A.), Crater...Moon...moon pie...satellite...light...shining light...shine a light...Rolling Stones...moss...water...tree...north...compass...Moral Compass...moral support...questionable morals...morality...mortality...death...worm meat...meat pie...apple pie...vanilla ice cream...ice cream cone...creamsicle.

ok now I’m just hungry.

We did agree that we would leave her name as temporary at least until she’s off the meds. So she’s still Bec. We didn’t do any kind of ceremony or ritual, mostly because I couldn’t think of any. I’m still on meds myself, you know. Tomorrow Madi is bringing me a blank book and I’m going to make the inaugural entry. I get the honor since this whole thing was my idea. Looking forward to that.

And now we’re watching the D-Town Molls video. Which also definitely needs a new name. Cecily didn’t lie, though. She’s edited it to look like something the 3 Stooges and David Fincher would have made, had they ever collaborated. And yes, there are kick-ass shadows.

We look like gen-you-wine gangster girls - all marcel waves and fringe and pearls. Lars looks very dapper, a thought I remember having at the time. Madi is hamming it up the bit that she’s on camera.

“Well, there’s been a psoriasis scare among the potato crops and so we’re going to secure some bouillon. That way we can still make the gin we need to attract the jazz we like and good times can be had by all!” Madi actually leaned out of the window and swung her fist in front of her as she said this. Not in a “You kids get off my lawn way” but in a “that’s just dandy, cowboy” way. It’s hard to explain but you know what I mean.

Camera pans up over car and zooms in on the three of us stalking up the stairs to the entrance like we’re the Monkees.

More running around like crazy, waving our Tommy Guns in the air...I yelled something about Jim Carrrey and then the security guys come out.

“Hey, I remember hamming up at the door for the camera!” I say in real life, not the movie. Because I do.

“Yeah, we cut it because she was closing in on Madi’s reaction to the security. And you looked like a deranged elf.” This is Lars’s response. Thanks. Eye roll.

Back to the movie: “Cheese it, the cops!” Yells Madi...then she looks directly at the camera and in what we know to be a VERY eerie prescience, deadpans: “I hope they don’t kill the fun.”

Pan back up and there I am, all up in the grill of one of the officers, affecting a very nasal voice telling him not to get his knickers twisted, doesn’t he know a fake gun when he sees one? As I go to bend it, guard #2 whips out his gun and I’m down.

She zooms out to full frame and lets it roll. In the foreground, Madi shrinks down in the car. I don’t blame her at all. Lars darts over to me, Bec at his heels and then she crumples. Chaos. This is total chaos. He starts to run towards Cecily and then he goes down.

Sirens to the right of the camera and it fades to black.

“We so need a sequel.” Says Bec, who did have top billing. The rest of us sit in silence for a moment. I can’t help but stare at my casted leg. This blows.

“No more guns. Not even fake ones. Not even water guns. People are too twitchy.” The room is nodding at me.

Don’t worry, gentle reader. I’ve got prank #2 all planned out. Just you wait. It’ll start rolling tomorrow and be in effect by Wednesday at the latest. I am a genius.

And now I’m a genius who is going to stop blogging and watch Reservoir Dogs.

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